麻坡的华语

As a break from structuration theory and agencies, I'd like to share with you this video I found from Zewt, which I think is a brilliant local music production. So brilliant that I took half an hour off work just to translate it below.

Therefore, at the risk of terrorizing my aunt who reads this blog, may I present to you:

麻坡的华语


Muar's Chinese (Language)
I'm not a hiphop kaki (fan), but I want to use hiphop's force
To let you understand my feelings
I'm not a [干炮鸡] (I don't know what this is - probably coz i'm not from Muar)
But I'd like you to know that my turbo is also very powerful
So I want you to stand here, sit down diam diam (quietly)
Listen to me rap this song

I come from Muar
I live in a street opposite Wetex
There are many Hainan aunties inside but no kopi (coffee)
This is not a big place, just a small town
From the main street to [street name] and Jln Khalidi
Outsiders think that Muar is interesting
Because of the way we speak
Sibeh (Really) powerful, sibeh strong,
Innovative and adds a lot of other stuff

Besides the three major races and Menggali
we have foreign workers from all over the world
Many industrial areas around
Very crazy during the weekends
These foreign workers will all crowd into town
To climb up the stairs to find prostitutes
To buy pirated VCDs
Or they will hug each other and do lanjiao (profanity) things
You will hear many sounds, many different pronunciations
Some of them even look a little geli (gross)

But the most symbolic is still Muar's Chinese (language)
Because Muar people speak
In a sibeh powerful way

*Chorus*
Muar's Chinese (language), I feel sibeh proud of it,
If you're unhappy about it
I'll let you see my middle finger
I don't like to act serious, I think I'm very cool
Because I speak Muar Chinese

Repeat *Chorus*

Life here is very simple,
When you're free you go and drink kopi
Or go to Tanjung to feed monkeys
And there is Muar Bridge to fish from
There are few taxis in Muar but many aunties
Carrying their babies and feeding them milk

I take you to disco
There are little round pills
After eating it
I bet that you will shake till very late at night
Then we can eat sio bee (a kind of dimsum) the second morning
We can also go to Tanjung to practise Taichi with the old folks

There is no standard language, just local language
I don't believe that you understand this concept
If you do you won't go to KL to learn Cantonese
Then believe that you have a big stick
(Background: Diu (profanity) you!)
You have to have self dignity
You have to follow your conscience
Don't be afraid because your culture is not defined

Teochew kueytiao, Hokkien fried prawn mee
This is our style, our definition
Say it loudly. This is Muar's Chinese

Repeat *Chorus*

If you come here, don't feel amazed
to see sibeh many Proton Wiras on the roads
Not because we are not creative
It's because Wiras are cheap and they are easier to resell
This is our pragmatism, this is our way of life
And this is how we show our patriotism
Don't doubt it, don't hide from it
Listen clearly: I am talking about you!

After 11pm there is another curious scene
You will see many ah kua's (transsexuals/transvestites)
Airkissing you from the roadside
They are very sexily dressed
because they want to do your business
But some have legs so thick
That they can go kick penalty
They have breasts and two balls
Some of their penises can even become erect

If you stop, they will negotiate prices with you
If you reject them, they will laugh and say you don't have balls (actually I think it's sperm, but that doesn't make much sense in English)
You say that I am Cina Babi (Chinese pig)
You're pantat mangkok kuih koci (got no idea what this means)
This small place is built by Chinese (people)
If you're that great, don't just make teh susu (milk tea)
If you want me to say that you're great,
Go to Parit Bakar to make furniture lah!

Repeat *Chorus*x3

Muar's Chinese, Yo, Yo
OK finish finish finish