no caps post

sunday morning and i am sticking around at home hoping to do some reading. well, i will, but as always i need to procrastinate a fair bit first so that i will feel sufficiently guilty to finally start reading. and once i start reading i usually don't stop. but then by that time it will be around evening and i only have a few hours left to read anyway. gosh i'm such an unproductive person.

good news is that my supervisors have approved my research questions and theoretical framework and i am good to go! for people who have witnessed my scowling squinting hair-pulling teeth-baring cheek-puffing fist-clenching anguish (i am a very expressive person) for the past six months, you'll be glad to know that i have finally, finally, managed to come up with something that validates the past year and a half of head-cracking. it feels good. but i know that the feel-good factor will wear out quite soon when i get down on my knees and start collecting literature and stuffing my face with readings, maybe to find out that there are some logical errors in my framework, but i guess i'll never find out unless i start doing the reading, will i?

*contemplates to end this post*

*decides to keep typing*

the past week has been great, i got my breakthrough and was quite ecstatic for most of the week, especially on wednesday when i realized that i finally nailed it. i proceeded to grin like an idiot (as i do) for the entire class that i was assisting at (as a teaching assistant), and entertained myself by drawing comics, something that i have not done for a very long time. then the following day i went out with my canadian cser daniel as a form of celebration. (while telling myself that i will do my readings on sunday instead. sunday's today.)

*contemplates*

*continues typing*

so i am thinking about the stuff that will happen in the next few months. i will see val in exactly two weeks. i am damn bloody excited of course. march is going to be a blur of travel (to kuching) and work. april will be spent entirely on work. may i am going to organize a birthday thing for myself, to celebrate being 27, because 27 is the new 21. (i find that entirely amusing when people say something is the new something. it sounds hip and happening but does not actually mean anything. it just gives you the impression that you are up to date and trendy. which is of course helpful when you're not actually.) may, another month of constant work, but i am hoping to have things pretty much in place by then.

june, july, august - i'm still unsure if i'll be in europe or not, the prospects look good now but i will only know for sure in march whether i get the berlin conference or not. if i do it clinches the deal. if i don't, well, i'll just have to come up with plan b. it's too bad that val and kasia both won't be in europe at that time, because partly why i want to do it is because i want to see europe through their eyes. val may be in australia with his girl, and kasia has got a job in turkey. i am really thrilled for them though, it is fantastic to travel with someone you love, and also wonderful to work in a foreign, exotic country. and it makes me feel happy to know that my friends are actively pursuing their dreams and constantly trying to live a better life, because that is the spirit that everybody should have. and when you're surrounded by people like that, you get inspired and you reach out for what you want as well.

september onwards will be a new semester. i will be presenting my confirmation report and hopefully everything will go according to plan, and i will pass it. and i get an increase in my allowance yay! by this time i will probably be commencing work on my data collection and incubating a new travel plan for the year to come. october, november, december. there goes a year!

wow. pace yourself, it's only february now, albeit the last day of it. ten months ahead, filled with hard work and constant learning, challenging and improving myself. new friends to be made, old friends to catch up with. tears, laughter, anticipation, happiness and heartbreak. floating in a sea of academic literature, enveloping myself in nature's beauty, giving and receiving big hugs. possibly meeting someone, probably not meeting anyone. maybe finally getting the courage to speak to guys that i like. haha. why am i so shy huh.

oh well. i should really start my reading. the journey of thousand miles begins with a single step.