I'm racist

This morning when I re-listened to my recorded interview with Rustam A. Sani, I thought about what an amiable fellow he is, and dropped by his blog. Previously he had stopped updating it for a couple of months then I sorta forgot about it. Fortunately it looks like he is blogging regularly again, and I've added him to my sidebar.

Rustam is an academic, and he has been described by Jomo as "arguably Malaysia's leading public intellectual". His latest post, Let's all go to China - to settle down! set me reflecting about how myself, the self-professed patriotic liberal who tries to avoid racialization - have been racist all this while, unconsciously.

For example, yesterday I was trying to tell YKent about Sepet and some notable scenes within it to entice him into watching it, when the inevitable question came up: "What movie is it ah? Is it a Malay movie?"

I hesitated a little. "Erm... it's Malay... but there's a lot of Cantonese inside, then English, somemore suddenly got Hokkien wann... how to explain ah?"

"So it's Malaysian lah." A simple reply from YKent at the wheel nudged me to the sudden realization that it was indeed the only adjective for the cultural rojak that is Sepet. Why did something so obvious escape me?

Rustam puts it this way:

Our political discourse up to this day, in my opinion, still smacks of the flavours of our good old racist days in the 1960s, when our supposedly brightest political thinkers were still struggling with their woolly thoughts such as found in The Malay Dilemma.

There is no denial that times have changed and the world too has changed. But the terrain of the Malaysian political discourse – or at least of its realpolitikal maneuverings – remain the same (at least in the fuzzy perception of some of our political leaders): the keris-bearing Malays are still loyal servants of their “sultan”, the transient Chinese still longing to go back to China to really be successful, and the Indians still looking for opportunities from the emerging market that India is today – their “true” homeland.

Alas, I am still but a mere mortal thinking from a framework that has been instilled into me since I was young. I am guilty of thoughts of wonderment when I see Indian girls wearing baju kurung, and a Chinese eating with his hands. A crime that happens automatically sees me asking about the perpetrator, "What race was he?"

There is hope yet. I am a thinking human, I learn, and I am an agency of change. I live to make a difference, and I have a bubbling fountain of contagious (and probably slightly annoying) enthusiasm. Yasmin Ahmad's films make me think. In turn, I am spreading it to my inner circle of friends whom I hope may be able to share the reflections that I had after watching the movies.

Ask Guang Hong whom I lured to Wiun's house with sandwiches then strapped onto the sofa to watch Sepet. He was enthralled. YKent who was preparing the said sandwiches didn't get to watch, but is dying to. Wiun who was impressed by Mukhsin (he had to go watch it after my glowing review) has borrowed Sepet and will hopefully not copy the DVD for his collection - RM19.90 only wei! Sokonglah sikit filem buatan Malaysia!

Lack of sleep has gotten into my head. I think I will go to bed instead of waiting for KF to wake up from his deep slumber at the other end of the world.

FYI I've extended the deadline to this Friday. Till then, the march continues.