Dead drafts.

I've got stuff to say but they keep jumbling themselves up, getting tangled in different strains of thought, that I have had to delete multiple paragraphs and start over. So although you are reading this in the first paragraph, try imagining like ten invisible paragraphs on top of each other, buried in layers, and this is the fortunate top layer that gets to stay.

Not unlike the cemetery that I went to in Boston where the tour guide was explaining to people that people used to point out the plot that they wanted to be buried at, which is fine, except that it was someone else's plot. What they did was just crush the bones of the previous dead person and bury the new dead person on top. Apparently it was a thriving business (at about $8-$12 a plot) back then until it got banned. Every grave had 2-12 dead people in it. I bet they're having a party down there with all the mangled bones.

Rest in peace my dead drafts.

See, that's the problem. I start thinking of something and it gets led onto some totally different tangent and there is not really a point to what I'm writing. Perhaps I'm just purging the contents and mess in my brain. The same mess in my brain that caused me to think that Val was coming yesterday, resulting in my whole family in KL anticipating his arrival because he's spending a night in KL before going to Phnom Penh before meeting me and Jia Ling in Kuching, but of course he didn't call because he is arriving tomorrow. Sucks to screw up so royally. But I'm glad I mixed up instead of him missing his flight, for example.

Too many things to think about. Of course mostly I'm thinking about my research, because I don't have a choice, but I shall not dwell on that because it is boring. To you anyway. Actually to me too because the same ideas circle my head, I don't know why, maybe because subconsciously I'm terrified if I would lose the fruit of my thoughts. I have pages of notes where I write about virtually the same thing to refresh and make sense of the ideas.

Dragonboating. On how I should train more extensively to really master it because I want to know that I am doing it the right way. I'm thinking of going for Wednesday trainings, maybe after March, because it's more intensive training which would be useful for building stamina, muscle and technique. Sure it would involve a lot of pain but what is new. And it looks like that's the only way to get better, which is something that I want. David Blaine didn't get to break the longest held breath record (17mins) by installing a pipe in his lungs. (He tried but it didn't work.) He did it through perseverance and trying all means possible, and lots of training and mental strength. (TED)

And that applies to so many different areas of my life. Travel for instance.

Erm. I just realized that there are not too many areas of my life. Research, dragonboating, travelling. But I'm pouring myself whole-heartedly into them. I like my life because I try putting only the good bits in it. It's not that it doesn't have bad bits. But usually if you make an effort and be less scared, you are able to put big chunks of good bits in to outweigh the bad bits.

A visualization if you need one:
11111110101111111111110011111101110111111111

I'm going to the museum today to look at ancient Egyptian dead bodies. And later a free concert in the botanical gardens. Today's gonna be a good day! Shall go get breakfast for necessary nutrients for mummy-gazing.