Baby talk, wtf and fml

I wonder when the Malaysian (non-sociopolitical) blogosphere started thinking using baby talk was the in thing. As in, "nao" for now, "nais" for nice, "nom" for chewing... I don't know why they all start with "n", and I'm equally confounded by the stupidity of it. It is very annoying when 20-somethings-and-above act cute in this way - well, acting cute in general irritates the hell out of me.

Oh yeah some time ago some people thought it was cute to spell cute "kiut". I imagine myself buying a set of wooden letter blocks from Toys-R-Us, selecting "K", "I", "U" and "T" and shoving them up their butts. I don't suppose Toys-R-Us would grant me a refund after I'm finished with the blocks.

And you know what else annoys me? "Wtf" and "fml" behind every sentence. I think it's some kind of verbal safety blanket. It's also an in-line trigger to signal "you should laugh now", much like the percussion behind comedians.

"What is the national bird of Singapore?"
"The crane."
*drum*

In some blogs it would come out as: What is the national bird of Singapore? The crane wtf.

You get what I mean. Except that this joke is actually funny. Try putting it behind a totally commonplace sentence: I had oats today for breakfast wtf. The reader has been conditioned to think - haha, oats for breakfast! That's so funny! Having discovered that it actually works, some bloggers have tried to milk the full effects of this useful tool.

Today I broke my nail wtf. And then I went to the mall to get some dishwashing liquid wtf. After that I went home to watch TV wtf. Michael Jackson died wtf.

Now we can try to replace "wtf" with "fml" (for the uninitiated, fml means fuck my life - translated to mean "I live a pathetic existence please kill me now". It's supposed to convey self-deprecating humour. The operative word is "supposed to".) .

Today I broke my nail fml. And then I went to the mall to get some dishwashing liquid fml. After that I went home to watch TV fml. Michael Jackson died fhl.

As you can see, "fhl" is another variation of fml, which obviously means fuck his life. Also, you can say fmdl for fuck my dog's life, fel for fuck Einstein's life, you get the drift. It doesn't have to mean anything. It just has to convey the message that I'm cool, and my jokes are funny and if it doesn't appeal to you, fyl.

What was supposed to be a two-paragraph rant has morphed into a full-fledged post. I need to go back to my academic reading now, where people write 100-word sentences and pepper sentences with "post-modernism", "obdurate reality", "idiographic accounts" and such.

fml.