TMD Pissed Off

The heat in my neck is slowly spreading upwards to my ears and to my cheeks.

When receiving my couchsurfers, I usually take the trouble to reach there a little earlier or just on time, because I know waiting makes people nervous, especially when they are waiting for a stranger that they've never met before. And I usually give people allowances for being late, simply because this is a foreign land to them and they don't have any idea how long it takes for them to get to Pioneer, even though I make it known that this is pretty far from the city centre. The worst late case that I had was 45 minutes. Most people, when they are late, are late for about 15 minutes.

I just spent the last hour waiting at the MRT station, and I gave him a full hour, with the expectation that he would turn up. He never did. I left the MRT at 8pm and reached home at 8:25. He had left me a CS message at 8:20 saying "are you waiting for me?" and "sorry about this, the plan have change a little bit", that he's staying near the airport now, and that he'd like to meet for coffee or tea instead.

I'm just really worked up because he put it really nonchalantly and even had the cheek to ask me if I'd like to meet for coffee or tea instead. If the plans changed, he should have let me know before 7pm, and not at 8:20pm, when I got back from the train station royally mad, but somewhat worried if he was stranded somewhere with no means of communication. In Singapore. Yeah right. And he was supposed to reach Singapore about 8am this morning, so there's no question about flight delays, unless it was delayed for a full 12 hours. Fuck him. FUCK.

And right now in my living room is another CSer who's been staying since two nights ago, and we do not get along at all. I've tried to be nice, I've tried to be understanding about him being ill with asthma, and I do get it that asthma is really difficult, because my sister had really bad attacks when she was younger. But my sister did not have a No Smiling policy, which was what I inferred from the constant scowl on his face - come on mate, how much energy does it take to smile?

(Tim if you're reading this, this is what I feel. I don't feel comfortable in your presence. And I definitely didn't like it when you raised your voice at me at the supermarket the other day - I felt that was uncalled for, it was like you were interrogating me in public and it was embarrassing. Also I didn't appreciate the snarky comment that you're not going to die in my apartment, when I was only asking about your health and trying to be nice in general.)

It is times like these that I feel that CSing is mentally draining, when I have to put up with insensitive people who take me for granted, or do not put an effort in to be a good guest. I don't mind it when we don't click, because not everybody can. It's just that when people act like bastards and just leave a bad taste in your mouth. And you keep telling yourself, that maybe this is just a case of cultural differences. Maybe he's just too sick to behave in a socially appropriate way. Maybe he didn't have the means to contact me until 8:20pm.

Yeah. And maybe they were bastards.

I don't know. I'm just pretty drained and feeling quite disappointed at the double whammy of negative experiences that I'm having. I mean I've had such great experiences till now. But I'm truly and well depressed with the situation at hand.

=(