Choppy.

Aisehman has stopped blogging. I am dispirited. Whyyyy. Why do you have to leave us. Sob. Sigh.

I am tremendously tired. Still trudging on. Finals coming soon. Term papers due soon. Macam mana. Do loh. Read loh. Maybe coffee will increase my spirits artificially. But I'm not in a coffee mood now.

Imeem is wonderful. Listening to soundtrack of Amelie through it now. Good stuff.

Isn't it sad when you realize that your life boils down to a packet of maggi curry for lunch in the office on a Sunday. Or when you walk home at 1:30am getting scared of moving shadows at an empty corridor.

Why is the lady next door laughing hysterically. Why. Why is it not raining yet. Why.

If life were a movie I'd be in a montage now. I wonder what movie I'm in. Some low budget art film or a huge production with loads of scenes and explosions and damsels in distress. Yesterday someone told me that she was afraid of Westerners because they hug and kiss people as a culture. I said if you're not comfortable with it, just say so. She said she didn't want to make them angry. I said they wouldn't be angry if you just told them nicely. She ignored my input and said she felt taken advantage of when they do it. There you go, a self-made airhead in distress. The oh-so-victimized. The someone-come-save-me-I'm-so-dainty-and-helpless. She doesn't want to be saved. She just wants her helplessness to be reinforced. The bastards! How dare they take advantage of a sweet young thing like you. You know I really feel for you. I wonder why noone has taken advantage of me. Maybe 'coz I'm not as sweet and young and I'm not a thing. Moron.

But anyway. I'm watching movies of other people. Real life drama, of turbulent and forbidden passion, of meeting the man of your dreams on an island vacation, of he-likes-me-he-likes-me-not. Eh why all love stories huh. I'm a bystander, like I always am. The all-seeing oracle, the agony aunt, the shoulder people like to cry on. I mean I can't help it. People just flock to my shoulder like bees to honey.

I guess when there's nothing much in your life, seeing what's happening to other people is the next best thing.

Yeah. When will this montage end so that I can be in some real action.

Hmm. This post was initially just going to be whining about Aisehman leaving. Why you don't want us anymore. Why.