Redbull 2

There is no fear

but fear of tigers

quoted

from tiger attack survivor

WTF

Divorce-hit Terengganu wants to spice up sex life of newlyweds

(From The Star)

KUALA TERENGGANU: Body odour, humdrum sex and boring pyjamas have been blamed for the high divorce rate in Terengganu and the state government is coming up with innovative ways to improve sexual relations, especially among newly-weds.

Top on its list is to invite cosmetic firms to introduce exotic and sensuous fragrances that can arouse sexual desire.

And husbands and wives are being encouraged to bathe together.

State Religious and Information Committee deputy chairman Muhammad Ramli Nuh believes that these moves can curb the divorce rates among young couples.

He told The Star yesterday that at least three in every 10 marriages in the state end in divorce, adding that separation was now the prevalent trend among couples aged between 25 and 30 years.

Muhammad Ramli said couples who had been married for less than five years and were on the verge of separation had told counsellors that routine sex and body odour were the main reasons for them to want to break up.

He said he was bewildered that some of these couples said their spouses’ old-fashioned pyjamas – sarong and t-shirt – and bad smell during intimate moments made their sex life monotonous or turned them off completely.

“I know of one case where a separation was triggered just because the spouse smelled of fish crackers,” he said.

As such, he said the state government – through state Family Development Board – was asking cosmetic firms to introduce special perfumes for the couples so they could “sustain their relationships, hopefully for eternity.”

Muhammad Ramli said married couples should bathe together to make their relationship more exciting.

“I met this elderly couple in Kelantan, they bathe together although they are grandparents; they enjoy a blissful marriage, this is when I mooted the idea where this method could be introduced as part of the pre-marital courses conducted in the state,” he said.

Muhammad Ramli said the state government was also sourcing for consultants to provide grooming workshops.

“This workshop is not only meant for the wives but also to provide men with tips on how to be attractive to their spouse at all times,” he said.

He said these consultants could also suggest the right lingerie to be worn.

Muhammad Ramli added that the state government had engaged marriage consultants to mediate between feuding couples.

---

hahahahahahhahahahhaa fish crackers hahahahaha

Kristy will rue the day...

... she told me Tiger Airways had a promotion: $1 INSANE All In Fare!!!

I went berserk. I swear I was unconscious for a bit and when I came to I had:
Nov12-13 Return air tickets to/from Penang
Feb25-March2 Return air tickets to/from KL
March13-March20 Return air tickets to/from Kuching (going with Jia Ling)

And it cost me.... *drumrollllllll*

*still drumming*

wait for it, wait for it....

SGD36 (RM87.41) for ALL SIX FLIGHTS!!! To put this slightly into perspective, my taxi ride from Woodlands back home yesterday cost me SGD18. So if I were to take a taxi back, from my home, to Woodlands, just for the heck of it, I would actually have spent the equal amount on the six flights which total distance is approximately 3081kms. I honestly wouldn't mind forfeiting any of the tickets.

I am a little guilty about all the carbon emissions that I'm going to cause, but still, they're so cheap T_T and I was barely conscious, I swear!

In other flight-related news, this morning I also booked a ticket from Singapore to Boston, flying United Airlines, under a student price of USD790 which according to some is a pretty decent price. This will be reimbursed but I'm celebrating in the name of frugality and auntie-ness!

I've just realized - amidst all the excitement, I've forgotten to buy me and Asa's return tickets from India XD but I'm maxxed out on Tiger Airways. I will keep away from it for today at least. It's bloody evil I tell you.

Damn have to return to work, been doing nothing but book tickets this morning T_T

*update*
Just found RM24 in my jeans pocket. Have no idea how it got there. Today is such a good day. =D

Hahahahahahaha.

OK I was bored (something that happens when you are trying desperately to fit words into a 35-page paper as fast as you can) and I was looking at some blogs and Urban Dictionary came up.

I've been laughing really hard at some of the definitions that came up when I put in random people's names into the search engine - don't be offended if you're not included into the list, either I didn't find anything interesting under your name or I don't care much for you.

Look at some of these!

Asa:
Definition 1:

Tagalog(Philippines) word meaning "hope". Mostly used as an offensive expression - by people who think they are winners to those they think are losers. Used as a pun, a joke, an excuse and a common expression. Gamer's lingo: You wish.

Foreigner: Where do I find this place? (points to the map that he is holding)
Pinoy: Asa!
-
Gamer: Hahaha, you lose!
Pinoy: Noob! Asa!

Definition 2:

A very cool and smart person. Asa describes the very few who can stay up all night studying, ace the test, and still be very respected by his peers, and an overall awesome guy.

boy 1: dude, i totally got an F in English
boy 2: you serious!? i got an A PLUS PLUS PLUS PLUS PLUS
boy 1: wow, you are such an Asa

HAHAHAHHAHA A PLUS PLUS PLUS PLUS PLUS

Definition 3:

Awkward Sexual Advances

Drunken girl w/ hand on your knee: Im having a party for 2 at my place. You are invited.
You: Um.... your drunk.
Drunk Girl: Your Sexy. Lets have sex. I like sexy time time with you.
You avoid eye contact and try to escape her ASA

Ling:

The noise one makes when stabbing a knife into the air.

Oh my balls Dick! The killer is after us! ::From behind them:: LING! LING! LING!

HAHAHAHAHAHA LING! LING! LING!

Yuen:

a term that has absolutely no meaning, therefore say it whenever you want

man: wtf does yuen mean?
woman: it has no meaning, say it again!

Totally random but true =_=

Val:

1. A person with dominatrix qualities, wants to always be in control when having sex.
2. A girl who is always horny, 24/7 and wants to do it on weird surfaces.

"omg im so horny, what are you, a val ? "

Erm. What kind of weird surfaces?

Kukui:

Hard brown nuts, sometimes white, turns gray after 40, pungent smell.

I wanted to have some kukui but I threw up as soon as the smell hit my nose.

I had no idea. Wow.

OK have to run back to my work, got another madcap scheme budding in my head, I bow to my innate craziness. But first, have to finish the paper. LING! LING! LING!

Death was on Dr. W's mind today.

"Do you realize how long it hasn't been raining? I haven't seen rain for at least two weeks. This climate change is horrible! We're all going to die!!"

"Then you may wonder, what's the use of learning statistics if we're going to die anyway. But let's enjoy statistics before we die!"

"So, for regression analysis, it's like, you have one bowl of rice, you gain a kg, you have two bowls, you gain two kgs, you have 100 bowls, you gain 100kgs. Then you die."

So far Friday has been pointless.

Much like this video. I'm a born again fan of Ryan Higa, youtube username NigaHiga.


But yes. So far Friday has been pointless. I'm going to the Toy Museum tomorrow, yeah!

So long suckers!

I've gotta pack as usual. So far I have accomplished dragging my backpack out of its drawer and smiling amiably at it.

Hello backpack my old friend! Looks like we're flying off tomorrow. Would you be a dear and pack yourself? No? Hey don't use that tone with me young man. Fine! Be that way.

The customary procrastination before packing. Ahhhhhh. The smell of freedom. *sniff sniff* Doesn't smell like anything in particular but is still intoxicating no less.

What I've been up to lately. Reverse chronologically - got interviewed by someone from The Straits Times (only the most important paper in Singapore) on Couchsurfing this evening. She'll notify me if it gets published, i.e. it's still in the early planning stage. This morning had the last exam of this semester!! Wahahahaha! Yesterday got to know from a very reliable source that my homosexuality group project got A. Wahahaha!! Sometime this week I went to see Dr. I and got the results of my other term paper, A+ =D Conference conference!! Sometime two weeks ago got an invitation to review a journal article from the Journal of the Royal Anthropological Institute, my first ever invitation to do that! (I even emailed the editor to see if there was a mistake in identity =_=)

What I'm going to be up to for the following month. Chronologically - here's my itinerary for Kota Kinabalu, thanks to dear Nex!

Sat 22 - Reach KK at night
Sun 23 - Market in the morning, depart for White Water Rafting by 9am, return to KK by 3pm, transfer to Weston Wetlands
Mon 24 - Weston Wetlands
Tue 25 - Weston Wetlands, return to KK by evening
Wed 26 - Bamboo Festival in the morning, then explore KK in the afternoon and laze around the beach in the evening and watch the sun set.
Thu 27 - Island hopping (back to KK by 4:30pm), departure in the evening

Then I'll fly home =D Spend a week or so in KL =D Book launch on the 5th. Conveniently missing the date for my half-marathon... sigh... yes I am feeling stupid now, 3 months after enrolling myself for that half-marathon. Yeah I'm a lazy bum and I screwed up =( After a week in KL come back to Singapore. Stay put for the rest of December to revise the term paper for submission to conferences and journals, do my research on PhD and sneak in a little French here and there.

Yeah so. Looks like I got a pretty full plate for the time being. But yes. Freedom feels good!!!

Looks like there won't be any packing done today. If you're lucky there may be another packing post tomorrow =D And behold - the longest label list ever:

Good stuff.

Got a really funny FWD message from Melissa Tan, reproducing it here because I don't believe in forwarding emails. Sorry to those who don't understand Chinese, it's basically a "making sentences" exercise with hilarious answers. The humour would be lost in translation so just bear with this one post.

1.题目: 原来
小朋友写: 原来他是我爸爸。
老师评语: 妈妈关切一下

3.题目: ..一边...........一边............ ..
小朋友写: 他一边脱衣服,一边穿裤子.
老师评语: 他到底要脱还是要穿啊~~

9.题目: 其中
小朋友写: 我的其中一只左脚受伤了。
老师评语: 你是蜈蚣？~~

10.题目: 一...就....
小朋友写: 一只娃娃就要一百块。
老师评语: 老师笑到不行..

11.題目: 你看
小朋友写: 你看什么看 ! 没看过啊

12.照样造句
例题: 你(唱歌) 我(跳舞)
小朋友写: 你(好吗) 我(很好)
老师评语: 你在写英文翻译吗??

13.照样造句
例题: 别人都夸我( )，其实我( )
小朋友写: 别人都夸我( 很帅 )，其实我( 是戴面具的 )。
老师评语: 什么面具这么好用???

14.题目: 好 .... 又好 ..
小朋友写: 妈妈的腿,好细又好粗...
老师评语: 那到底是细还是粗？

15.题目: 陆陆续续
小朋友写: 下班了，爸爸陆陆续续的回来。
老师评语: 你到底有几个爸爸呀?

20.题目: 皮开肉绽
小朋友写: 停电的夜晚，到处很黑，我吓得皮开肉绽!
老师评语: 看到这句... 老师佩服你。。

21.题目: 欣欣向荣-比喻生长美好的样子。
小朋友写: 我的弟弟长得欣欣向荣。
老师评语: 孩子，你弟弟是植物人吗...

还有一个更瞎的…
小朋友写: 欣欣向荣荣告白。
老师评语: 连续剧不要看太多~~

22.题目: 谢谢....因为......
小朋友写: 我要谢谢妈妈,因为她每天都帮我写作业......
老师评语: 原来你的作业是妈妈写的!!!!!!!

23.题目: 难过
小朋友写: 我家门前有条水沟很难过。
老师评语: 老师更难过......

26.题目: 天才
小朋友写: 我３天才洗一次澡。
老师评语: 要每天洗才干净~~

27.題目: 一…便…
小朋友写: 我一走出门，对面就是便利商店。

还有一個更瞎的…
小朋友写: 哥哥一吃完饭，就大便。
老师评语: 造句不要乱造...

31.題目: 又.....又.....
小朋友寫: 我的妈妈又矮又高又瘦又肥。
老师评语:你妈妈......是怪物吗?

32 果然
上课小朋友说：昨天我吃了水果，然后又喝了凉水
老师：这是词组，不能分开造句。
小朋友又说：老师，我还没说完呢，果然晚上我拉肚子了！
老师：…………

33 瓜分
小朋友：大傻瓜分不清是非
老师：小傻瓜也分不清

34 好吃
小朋友：好吃个屁
老师：………

35 况且
小朋友：一辆火车经过，况且况且况且况且．．．．．
老师：……………

FREE INTERNET!!!!!

*pant pant pant pant*

One hour into Nelson and I already love this place. The backpacker's that we're staying in has free wireless Internet, hell yeah!!

Too bad we gotta work today though. Later!

This is a post for Valentin

Test.

He's too stupid to open a blog so I have to show him.

Rhapsody in Blue

I was looking for a video of Rhapsody in Blue by Gershwin, but found this video instead:


Local effort, nicely done. I love that dancing Lilo on the car dashboard. And the orgasmic flinging of hands. Just watch it.

*Update* More songs (no mtv though) to be found at Pete Teo's. This MTV is the effort of some MMU students.

*Update several days later* Found Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue after all. Am putting it on autoplay.

Blogging from the loo...

... just because I can.

Hohohohoho.

ニキ－ちゃんへ：