Moment of Truth

知己。Literally translated - "know yourself". Meaning of word - best friend who knows you better than you. It really takes a best friend (I am lucky to have a few best friends, so "best" not as in superlative) to knock some sense into you.

*POW*

Haha I've been such an ass for the past few days. Been painfully oblivious to so many obvious things, been self-indulgent to the point of terrorism, been immature bordering on childishness. In true Taurean spirit I went for it, with tunnel vision, insisting that I could fix it, I could make it better, everything will be alright if I am determined to make it better. At a point there was even a flowchart in my head. If, then, else. Loop.

*BANG*

When what I should have done was to leave the problem alone. But the time pressure blinded me. I still have time! I can fix it! Please let me fix it! It's so simple!

*BOOM*

So what I did was to screw things up to the point of no return, when my intention was to salvage what I could. Irony irony irony. So is life. And I would've continued with the downward spiral if it weren't for you. My best friend, my mirror.

Pain. Pain because I see how stupid and simplistic I'd been. Pain because I can see it so clearly in theory but it's not within my practical control. Pain! Why the hell am I trying to explain my pain just pain lah damnit raw stinging teeth-gritting pain. Fuck.

Tomorrow I'll wake up into strong mode again, a useful self-defense mechanism. But still have to go through tonight. Tomorrow my new shell will withstand the stinging humiliation. But tonight still have to pack. Tomorrow I will move on. Tomorrow quickly come. Now have to quickly pack.

I'm sorry. I'm rarely like that. You just caught me at the worst possible moment. I'm sorry.

And Ying Jian, thanks. I love you mate.